Top 5 things that happen at almost EVERY Gig...

5. I'm beat at 2:15am - getting too old for this shit. I offer to drive home from gig. 99.9% of the time I drive to the show with my Drummer, Shawn. This gesture allows Shawn to swill booze without the worry of DUI. I think Shawn likes number 5 more than I do.

4. While loading / unloading my 4 X 12 Marshall slant cab, Me or Shawn will make the following statement - "Hue needs to get a 2 X12 or smaller, The coolness of the Marshall is starting to wear off". WE PLAY BARS NOT SOME CONCERT HALL!!!

3. At least half of the people in the bar will be watching television - I am so tired of competing with baseball or IFC. HEY BAR OWNERS MAKE UP YOUR MIND ON WHAT KIND OF BAR YOU WANT!

2. Drunk person in crowd will come up to the stage in hopes of getting their (even drunker) friend on stage - because he or she "has the best voice you will ever hear". This person will bother you all night until you let their drunk friend sing - or tell them to f-off.
NOTE: if drunk person does not have a friend they want to get on stage to perform, they will request old and obscure songs we don't do. (i.e. Some drunk idiot who says, "PLAY HANG ON SLOOPY!" they repeat this request all evening or until you kill them). HANG ON SLOOPY????

1. Someone will come up to you and give you a complement, then follow it up by saying, "hope you guys make it"... Huh? Shit I thought we did make it, I mean we get paid to play music. Being in our 40s, we're not trying to get signed to a recording deal. Even if we were trying to get signed, thanks to MTV - music is about being cute - not talented (and I'm neither). Nobody is going to sign a 40-ish year old "husky" fellow to a contract. Meat Loaf and John Popper were the last "husky" fellows who fronted bands - those days are over.
Fat rappers (not to be confused with Phat rappers) are exceptions to the rule, especially if the paunchy poets have the word "fat" or "Big" in their name (see Fat Joe, Big Pun, or Notorious B.I.G. for examples).