Apocolypto: like the Under the Bridge video with lots of blood and violence and nothing to do with Anthony Kiedis' drug problems.

I finally watched the movie, "Apocolypto" and wow, those Mayans were assholes!

It was no "Braveheart" and I still haven't seen "The Passion of the Christ" (and please people, don't tell me how it ends!).

"Apocolypto" reminded me of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Under the Bridge" video. If the video also had: human sacrifices, historic inaccuracies, plague, and slavery...

Anyway, the movie is about a Jaguar Paw (played by Rudy Youngblood a.k.a. Anthony Kiedis), a young hunter/warrior (pictured). He is rounded up with some other cats... taken to the Mayan city and... well, then it gets crazy.

Jaguar Paw runs (slow motion) for the rest of the movie. I could not get the RHCP song out of my head, so I paused the tivo... grabbed by iPod and listened to "under the bridge" while watching Jaguar Paw get chased through the jungle by Zero Wolf (played by Raoul Trujillo... he is one scary MF who could kick Jason's ass any day... AND Freddy Kruger, Charles Manson, that dude from "Saw", and zombies and vampires and who ever the hell you have to throw at him... But apparently he cant fuck with Anthony Keidis).

Apocolypto has everything, and maybe too much of everything. There are many scenes that made me cringe like a little school girl (thank the Mayan Gods for Tivo rewind). The over the top violence, makes "Braveheart" look like "Shrek", but I guess in some strange way I loved it.

I'll give Apocolypto 4 out of 5 beheadings... but only 3 out of 5 spears through the mid section... for a grand total of 8 out of 10 sacrificial heart removals (while the heart is still beating).

Here's a scene...